As I sit here, watching Jeremy Kyle re runs, my hair in the typical student "up do" (which means I haven't washed it in about three days but don't judge me.) I think it's finally time that I write a blog on being a student. The typical student life is not something that ever really appealed to me. Super noodles every day? Rather have a me mams infamous stovies with party rings for afters. And I know I'm not the only one thinks that way, but here I am, three years in, with a house, and bills, being a proper adult! Proper adult is open to debate, I mean I still throw tantrums and I still have cat naps, but still. An adult. Me. The thought of it is enough to send shivers down my spine and it's almost as if I can actually feel my hair turning grey from the root.
Gone are the days of saying "swear down, ask me mum" because at uni... No one really gives a fuck. Say goodbye to big nights out on a Saturday and say hello to spontaneous nights out on a Monday, (why would you want a night out with the tourists? Psh!) Now, when I came to uni I thought I would spend my life in a constant state of smashed, but much to my brothers amusement, the reality of uni hit me like a tonne of bricks. It's not easy, at all. And certainly puts your teachers during your GCSE's saying "these are the hardest exams you'll ever do" into perspective. But it is fun.
When I first came to uni I was in the most minging halls ever, we didn't even have a cooker, and fifteen of us - both male and female - shared two shower cubicles. There was forever arguments about which scrote shit all over the toilet seat, and I spent a lot of time sat on that bacteria ridden bathroom floor, puking my guts up after a particularly heavy night. But I did meet some of the soundest people I've ever had the pleasure to know, and that kinda puts walking up five flight of stairs at 3am into perspective, doesn't it?
If you're at university, you'll understand me when I say that the biggest lessons you learn aren't from the contribution of a lecturer stood in front of a PowerPoint, (seriously, my housemate told me that we are paying nearly £200 for each stupid PowerPoint in each lecture, but hey ho.) but if you are lucky enough to have youth on your side, and are not quite at university yet, then here are a few life lessons I have learnt over the past two years and five months;
1. There will be nights where you go out and spend £70, there will also be nights where you go out with £20 and come back with £22 smashed, with a take away. Don't question how it has happened, life is funny like that and just be grateful for your chicken burger and cheesy chips.
2. Don't shit where you eat. Now this can be taken a number of ways, but what I mean is, don't get off with someone that you are going to have to see everyday for the next year if you know it will be awkward for you, or if you have hilarious friends like mine, who will make innuendos at every given chance.
3. On that note, snog whoever you want on nights out (granted, of course, you are single) but don't allow photo evidence to go on Facebook, or to ever be shown to you, as intrigued as you may be, allow yourself to live the rest of your life believing he was a David Beckham look a like through your vodka infused haze.
4. You can boil eggs in a kettle. I don't recommend it, but I have done it before, and I don't know whether it was cause I was drunk or because I am genuinely Nigella Lawson after a few wines, but they tasted pretty top notch. As long as they don't explode.
5. Don't leave your door unlocked in halls when you are not in the building, and if you do, expect to come back to a room that's been loo rolled, or, as we have done to my good friend, relocated her entire room onto the corridor (sorry Shauna!)
6. Not everyone will have the same sense of humour as you, that's fine. It is not your fault some people had a personality lobotomy before they came to uni, but don't become one of those dickheads that bully them because of it. We are not in school anymore.
7. Don't become one of those idiots that forget where they are from. Whether you are from the posh part of Cardiff, or, like me, are from Blackburn. Do not forget that it is because of your surroundings growing up you became the person you are, plus, no one likes someone pretending to be someone they aren't.
8. If you don't like the way someone is behaving, but have to be with them on a daily basis, tell them! It seems so simple, but it is so easy to slip back into the bitchy school persona, especially when living in halls - which feels like some sort of scummy boarding school most days.
9. You will never realise how interesting your ceiling is, or how your bedroom would look rearranged, or how your wardrobe would look colour coded, or, how your shoes would look like in order from heels to flats, until you have an assignment deadline. Procrastination is key, it's a ridiculous key, but the amount of times I have gutted my entire house so that I don't have to start writing about Freud's views on the nature/nurture debate is something I think Freud would have a few strong words on.
10. Do not forget your old friends from back home. Wether they haven't gone uni, or are applying in September or they are happily engaged with kids. These people were there for you during your first period, and they will be there for you every time you come home. Your friends from your younger years know more about you than three years at uni could ever teach you about yourself, don't take that for granted.
11. DO YOUR STUDENT FINANCE ON TIME. I cannot stress this enough. It is ridiculous that nearly every year my student loan has been late, this year and first year it wasn't my fault to be fair (bet you're thinking... Yeah alright then whatever, but really) but in second year I applied in July and didn't get my loan until November! No one wants to be the sponge on their housemates.
12. If someone doesn't like you, fuck them. Say to yourself that you are a princess and that their opinion doesn't effect you, nor should it mean anything to you. You are top. If they don't see it, then it's their loss. (See; journey of self discovery)
13. Ring your mam. Seriously. She asked me to put this in.
University isn't for everyone, and if it isn't for you don't sweat it. Just sponge off your friends student experience, go to their house parties and live the high life - at least you will never have to clean up for them the day after, and you can sit smugly while working your way up the career ladder, that you will never have to pay back student debts!
Fucking student debts.
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