Fancy dress, drunken states.

I was very lucky in the fact that my brother, who is 11 years older than me, got two surprise birthday parties. One for his 18th, and one for his 21st. Now we all know parental rules on birthdays, you can't get for one and not for the other, and thus, to avoid favouritism, my mum and dad organised a twenty first birthday party for me, with an irn bru cake, karaoke, and with my input, we made it fancy dress. 

In true prinny style, I of course, came as a princess, wearing my old leaver's do dress. (Which, to all you cynics out there, I still fit into. I might not of eaten until I was actually in the dress, but that is besides the point!) 

                                        

Now, this obviously was my twenty first birthday, the "biggie", "finally legal to drink in America", "got the key to the door". But me being me, peaked too early and had to bribe a certain friend who will not be named for legal reasons, to buy me cola so I could pretend it was vodka and coke, whilst secretly sobering up - the bribe being that I would do one black and one white sambuxo in half an hour. This was fine, until my housemate, who came all the way from Hull to visit, mentioned the three words that a drunken princess should never hear; "Summer nights. Now." And to that notion, I squealed like a 17 year old in a club illegally when Mr. Brightside has come on. Thus, karaoke ensued. 

Now I learnt a lot on my twenty first, but I have seven cardinal life lessons that happened that night;

1. Do not start the night on vodka and cokes. 

2. Do not then flit between vodka and coke, rosé, and tequila slammers.

3. Trust your instincts when your dad says he will do all he can to embarrass you that night. (He dressed as Ben from Bill and Ben the Flowerpot Men.) 

4. Expect your brother to go above and beyond the call of duty to ruin the reputation you have spent years making. (Two words: George Michael. Five words: George Michael singing Bohemian Rhapsody)

5. No matter how good you and your friend think you are, devoting your hearts and souls to living in huge shadows of John Travolta and Olivia Newton John, there will be video evidence that you do not sound half as good as you thought you did.

6. No matter how good of an idea it is at the time, if you can't unlock your phone to ring someone, don't ring them. This also goes for Facebook messaging them when you get in calling them very colourful names for not answering... About phone calls you aren't 100% you made.

7. Do not chat to a taxi driver whilst having a power nap in the back of his taxi, and do not accept a gift of cactus jacks that he keeps in the glove compartment. 

Seriously, my life is like an episode of punked except there is no Ashton Kutcher and no one has jumped out to shout "YOU BEEN PUNKED!" Yet. 

All in all, it was a fabulous night, and I had a fantastic time, I have gained a new level of love for the barman who gave me a free birthday drink of a glass of water. 

       

Remember: no matter how much of a princess you started the night off as, a hangover from Hell will remind you, as you wake up with your tiara still in your hair, to stop being so cocky when it comes to shots.